NOTICE: Posting schedule is irregular. I hope to get back to a regular schedule as the day-job allows.

Monday, March 18, 2013

MONDAY FUNNY: The restart. [Full link to blog for email clients.]

Well, I'm going to *try* to get restarted on a MWF schedule.  That's Monday-Wednesday-Friday, not Maybe-Whenever-Fugeddaboudit!  Most of the material that I have posted for The Lab Rats' Guide to the Brain is done... written... posted.  I would really like to get it compiled into a complete manuscript, but that's difficult to find the time right now.

I want to continue explaining how the brain works, finding news releases and interpreting for my readers, so I am going to go with a slightly shorter format, and go with the following:

Monday FUNNY - The GUIDE Wednesdays - NEWS & COMMENT Fridays.

I will necessarily need to keep to a slightly shorter format, so I plan to run science jokes or cartoons for Monday comment, and brief commentary on news or general interest on Fridays. For the near future, installations of The GUIDE will cover "How to write a research grant application."  Sometimes funny, sometimes despairing, I'll give a glimpse into the processes researchers go through multiple times per year to submit applications for research funding (and why you - as readers and taxpayers - should care!). 

So, without further ado..


As a graduate student, I learned this joke.  While I have never followed its advice, I have to admit that there is a ring of truth:

A [male] Doctor, Lawyer and Research Scientist were asked:  "Which is better to have... a wife? or a mistress?"

The Doctor very quickly responds:  "In my professional opinion, a marriage stabilizes the emotional life of the patient. A wife can nurture and love.  Casual affairs are disruptive; it's much better to have a wife than a mistress."

The Lawyer sits back, rubs his chin and says: "You realize I can't give you a professional opinion, right?  I'd have to charge you, and besides, if I answer this question on the record it could damage any future divorce or palimony cases... But off the record, it's better to have a mistress.  With a mistress, you avoid the legal entanglements of marriage, and can keep any financial arrangements on a cash basis.  In fact, if you call my office, I'll even set you up with a 'pre-affair' agreement that you can put in place to ensure that your paramour has not claim on you.  Strictly off the record, and if you quote me I'll take you to court - but it's much better to have a mistress than a wife.

The Research Scientist thinks a moment.  He nods his head at the doctor and the lawyer.  Thinks a bit more and then answers:  "Actually, it's an easy answer, once you think about it.  The answer is 'Both'."

The Doctor, Lawyer and the Questioner are stunned/  "Both?  How can it be better to have *both* a wife and a mistress?"

"Well, when I leave the house, my wife will think I'm seeing my mistress... my mistress will think I'm with my wife... and I'll be in the lab all night running more experiments!"


Okay, I'll leave you with this thought from a plaque in my office:

"RESEARCH... is the process of going up Alleys, to see if they are Blind."

[or, as rephrased by my graduate mentor... 'Research is the process of going Blindly... to see if there are Alleys...']

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please add comment - no links, spammers will be banned.