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Speaker: OK, Folks, I've gathered the LabRats around to help me on this special edition of Teddy's Rat Lab blog. We wanted to give the opportunity for everyone to chime in on their favorite Zombie-themed movies.
S2LA: So, I guess I'll start. I like action movies, and I like humor - not the 'Dumb' variety, but I can't resist Good Schlock (Hint, Hint, new book preorders still available, right, Howard Tayler?), so I would have to nominate Army of Darkness for my favorite.
S2LA: Yes, I know that technically those are animated skeletons, not classic zombies.
S2LA: What was that?
RTL: "Squeak. Squee-squeeek. Squick-squee."
S2LA: Oh, right, the translator. <pulls out a little box and flips a switch on top>
RTL: <ahem> Thank you you, oh absentminded one. As I was saying, if you're going to allow animated skeletons, I would have to go with the 'Dragon's Teeth' warriors in Jason and the Argonauts.
S2LA: Yes, indeed. Classic Ray Harryhausen. I loved and feared those things. Good, now Ratso, if you would be so kind as to stop eating for a moment.
Ratso: <chew, swallow> You know, Boss, I'm surprised you didn't go for Shaun of the Dead?
S2LA: Yes, I know. There's a lot to like about that movie. Especially the fact that Shaun is so totally oblivious. Oh, by the way, you've got red on you.
RSO: <looks frantically>
S2LA: Oh, sorry, that's just ketchup. So is that your choice?
RSO: Nope, just thought I'd ask. I like classics, too, so I would have to go with Frankenstein - after all, he's basically a corpse and the Doc reanimates him, sort of a favorite among the grad students.
S2LA: I suppose you're right, and you can't get much more classic than that. On the other hand, I have to ask - Frankenstein or Young Frankenstein? The classic monster or 'Abby Normal'?
RSO: Classic, of course. Besides, it's pronounced FRAWNK-en-SHTEEN.
S2LA: Riiiiiight. And you, Ratfink?
S2LA: <pauses, waiting for Ratfink to continue, but he doesn't> A rat of few words, eh? I have to admit I haven't seen that one.
FNK: Woody. Reloads. See it.
S2LA: Well, okay, if you insist, you're so persuasive, given your elocution and charm.
FNK: <gives Speaker the evil eye>
S2LA: <shudders> Yeah, so. Ratface?
S2LA: <flips switch repeatedly on translator>
FAC: Squeak. Squeak. . . Squeak
S2LA: Hmm, I guess I'll just have to translate. You were saying?
S2LA: 'The Greatest Story Ever Told?' <pauses> No! I've told you before, Ratface, we are not going there!
S2LA: I *know* people say 'Happy Zombie Jesus Day.' We're not going there.
S2LA: No, you can't pick what someone else has already picked.
FAC: <sullen> Squeak.
S2LA: Fine. *you* can pick Shaun of the Day, then. Moving on. Nestor?
Nestor: I'd like to go back to the first of the main *Zombie* movies. Night of the Living Dead.
S2LA: Yes, good choice,but what about the rest of the series, like Day of the Dead?
NST: Well, George Romero milked the franchise for 6 films, but Night and Day are the worthwhile ones.
S2LA: Agreed. Good, well, that brings us to You Dirty Rat. Um, you'd better let me do the typing, here, YDR, I'm not sure I want to be cleaning the mouse and keyboard all weekend..
S2LA: Not you, Mick, I'm mean the computer mouse. So, YDR?
YDR: Resident Evil. Extinction, I think.
S2LA: Yes, Extinction seems to be the pure zombie movie, some of the creatures in the other movies aren't exactly the classic undead.
YDR: <shivers> Like the dogs in Afterlife. They're worse than cats.
S2LA: Agreed. OK, that's the main cast. How about you other guys? Gals? Rattina, Ratlette? <pauses> No?
Rattina: Guy movies.
S2LA: Ohhhhhkay. Norbert? Whitey? Mick?
Norbert: Walking Dead.
S2LA: OK, TV qualifies.
Whitey: Can I name a book series?
S2LA: Whitey - you're so nearsighted you might as well be blind.
WHT: Mick reads to me.
S2LA: What? Mick?
WHT: Sure, what's the point of having a seeing-eye mouse if he can't read to you? Also, there's plenty of Audiobooks.
S2LA: That's true, ok, what's your book series.
WHT: Well, Mick likes to read the Xanth series by Piers Anthony, and there's a character in there called the Zombie Master. The zombies are a bit scary, but basically ok. But lately, I've been listening to a bunch of audiobooks, and I like the Monster Hunter series on Audible books.
S2LA: Good choice, Larry Correia is a friend and an excellent writer. I like that choice.
S2LA: Well, then. Good blog, everybody. I think this will make a good starting point for our next blog on zombies in popular culture. Until next time, be sure to vote on the messiest ways to kill zombies (go to this link http://teddysratlab.blogspot.com and click on the poll at the top of the right-hand column) and...
...take care of your ... BRAINZ!